These are things you can say to which no one will have a response

These are statements that will be sure to elicit an awkward pause, confusion, and, very possibly, offense.

1) This is to be said if someone is taking over the show, being a know-it-all, or sticking his/her grubby little paws where they don't belong. People get annoying when they're too into things (a project, social situation, etc.) and here's how to put a damper on the grotskiness that is over-earnest behavior:

Look at you, all in a tizzy. You're just right up in the thick of things, aren't you? (said contemptuously) Who do you think you are, Shia Labeouf? You make me sick.

2) This is to be said as a pep-talk of sorts, such as before a big game, a big presentation, or anything else that requires hard work and energy, such as running a coat check or man-rape:

Let's multi-fist this biatch such that every of its orafices shall contain a corresponding one of my appendages insofar as that the ratio of orafice to appendage shall remain 1:1.

3) This is to be said if someone is trying to be nice to you/voice concern for you and you will have none of it. The conversation will go a little something like this:

"Oh, man, you're barefoot. I hope you don't cut your feet!"
"I'll cut my feet, I'll cut them all over your face, you grotsky whore. Shia Labeouf!"